Club Zen

Inviting the Bell

I piloted a Dharma class for children this weekend: CLUB ZEN. It was called Dharma Kids, but we've decided to rename it as many people don't know what Dharma means. The class is now called:

 Club Zen: games, songs and meditation--for children and teens 
ages 6-16  

 Zen has become a mainstream concept for children partly because of the global popularity of the books Zen Shorts and Zen Ties by Jon J. Muth.

Drawing Our Calm Places of Refuge

Pebble Meditation

Cooperative Rolling Marble Game
*photos by Miranda Hart

The class was a triumph thanks to all my  participants and helpers. My nephew accompanied our songs on guitar.

The atmosphere was joyful and peaceful. I had so much fun teaching the class and all of my activities were well received. I couldn't believe how focused our little 6 years olds were during meditation! I over-planned and only managed to complete about 1/3 of my activities, which, is great as I can use the remainder for future classes. My next task is advertising for next month's meeting in many more locations and getting the local news involved. 

When I Breathe In, I breathe In Peace

When I Breathe Out, I Breathe Out Love

Meditation and Motherhood

Pip and Mom, a Mountain Top Meditation.

Reatreat with Ajhan Sona of Birken forest Monastery, BC.

Ajahn Sona, Abbot--Birken Forest Monastery

I spent Friday evening and Saturday morning at a Buddhist meditation retreat in Kelowna. The Abbot of Birken Forest Monastery, Ajan Sona, was the monastic leading the retreat.

 I found Ajahn Sona's wisdom on dealing with human emotions to be the most interesting. His simple, straight forward advice for living with the basic ups and downs of daily emotions and interactions was helpful. I would have liked to listen to him speak much longer about this.

The thing about monastics is that although they are often deep on the path towards enlightenment, they are human. So, when they respond the audience's questions with (seemingly) weak answers to Buddhist questions or tell stories that reveal the monk to be insecure about their own social status, it takes me a little by surprise. However, I like to take from each monastic, the best of what they have to offer. Monastics are human with human failings just like the rest of us lay peoples. But each and every monastic has substantial wisdom in  at least one area--and this is the area I really pay attention to. Although, I admit, when I recognize personal insecurity in a monk, it makes me take stalk of my own insecurities. If I were ever to become ordained, I too would carry some personal baggage with me.
I use this same philosophy when I study The Buddha's teachings: He was human, if some of his teachings seem limited, I acknowledge his humanness and the culture/society in which he was living in.

Saturday morning's retreat was sitting and walking meditation with a break for lunch. I had planned on staying for the entire day of meditating but at lunch the compulsion to be with my kids was too strong. I needed to go home. My life is very busy, like almost all Western lives. All week long it is work and activities. I hardly have any time to just be home with my family. Many of us are rushing around to catch a dance lesson/soccer practice/music lesson/meetings etc. When the weekend arrives, guess what? More soccer/meetings/appointments. I am away next weekend and then another weekend shortly after and every day/evening some scheduled appointment.

I am not proud of this rushing around through life. I am trying to change it--trying to find a simple balance but it is almost impossible with 3 children each wanting to do several extra-curricular activities for fun (and I want them to have these opportunities to enjoy sports and music). Also, my life is in the process of big growth and change; my career was on pause for a decade to devote to raising my babes and now--time to catch up! No rest for the wicked and weary.
Thus, I felt (due to the fact I miss spending serious leisure time with my babes) that a morning meditation was enough on this day. I love Buddhism practice but I love being a mom more. My children trump everything and anything. I believe this strengthens my Buddhist practice--to know and practice true loving kindness and compassion for myself and my children.

So I get home and find Tabs rushing out the door for a soccer game (with her dad) and my other two girls busy playing (hanging Mist would say) with the neighbor girls.
But at least I was home while they played and there to make sure my soccer star took her vitamins supplements before her game.

Dharma Kids

The city I live in has very little Buddhism for children. Zero to be precise. So, this is my attempt to bring a little Dharma to the children of Kelowna. I'm not a nun or a monk, just a lay practitioner. However, I am a teacher, with lots of experience working with children. I'm all that we have for now--it's me or no Dharma Kids.

At the last retreat I attended with my sister (following the teachings of Thich Nhat Hahn), we decided that our children would truly benefit from regular Sangha meetings and mindfulness lessons. Thus, Dharma Kids was born. It may just be my sister and I, our children, my nephew ( yes, nephew, whether you know it or not, we need your genius to help out) and a few of their friends who come, in the beginning, but it is a beginning. I'm basing the hour on Planting Seeds teachings by Thich Nhat Hahn and the Plum Village Community. I am also throwing in a little of my unique teaching style: perhaps a little meditation dance...

I am excited to be the one inviting the bell for our first meeting. Inviting the bell during Sangha is a way for all to stop and listen to the Buddha within, calling us home--away from distractions and back to the essence of being at peace within oneself and the world. It is a very meaningful practice, so it is an honour for me to initiate this ritual. 

The hour will include a little meditation, songs, games and fun. I'm looking forward to it. I have never taught Dharma before, so this requires much preparation. I've asked to be advertised at the Yoga House, CBC, Castanet, The Waldorf School and Urban Harvest. I'll try a few more places too. Let me know if you have any more advertising ideas. Wish us luck...

Metta 

Namaste

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Thank-you to all those kind souls who have been diligently voting for me

On September Suffering, On Refuge.

Bayou Teche, Louisiana, USA.  July, 2012 by Mix Hart
I chose this photo for this particular post for its serenity: a young blue heron on the bayou, amongst the graceful lotus blossoms--a true place of refuge for the mind.

I had a dream last night that made total sense of feminism and Buddhism. I dreamed that I was me but I was also a matriarchal, nurturing Buddha and on my knee was a happy little boy. The little boy was so happy, fun and adorable; blonde, blue-eyed and freckles on his nose. I told him he looked like a young David Bowie. He jumped from my knee to go and try out playing a drum set. And then I realized that the little boy was me, as a child, in male form.

It all made sense: I am the Buddha, I am also the child looking for refuge in the Buddha. I am both male and female in energy (essence) and so is the Buddha. We are interchangeable, one and the same. We all have the nature of the Buddha and we are all of male and female truth.

September is not an easy month for most Westerners. It is a new school year, fraught with changes. One often feels confused and overwhelmed by the physical and mental demands of the day. We all suffer in ways.

I am not immune to this September Suffering.
I have been practicing mindfulness for some time, practicing meditation and learning Buddhist philosophy for ten years. So, as a Westerner (and our achievement oriented culture), I had ideas of what I should have accomplished, to date, in my mindfulness training.

When September stresses combined with other stress factors began to eat away at my happiness, I was  disappointed in my mind. I believed that it failed me. I was suffering, I was experiencing anxiety, depression and a dose of self loathing. How could this be? I thought (with all my mindfulness knowledge and training) that I would not fall into this type of suffering anymore, that the strength of my mind would not allow it.

And so, when I found myself unhappy and overwhelmed, I became angry with myself: I had failed my self again--I had not mastered mindfulness training. The desire to kick oneself when one is down is strong.
How dare I feel suffering?! I have a good life, I should be stronger than that. But then, after a few nasty kicks at myself, and discussing a little dharma with another, the mindfulness came back.

We all suffer. Strength is not in preventing the suffering but rather what one does with suffering. To feel anger at oneself, or something/someone for the suffering, only prolongs and intensifies the suffering. To have compassion, to accept it is one's nature to suffer, this is what eases the pain. Compassion ends anger and nurtures happiness.

And all those problems I have in trying to achieve the modern life, the ones contributing to the overall September suffering? They are only problems if I believe they need to be solved. If I believe they do not need to be solved, only left on their own to evolve in one way or another, I can focus my attention on the things that bring me joy. When problems no longer need a resolution, but rather, are observed as a work in progress--they are no longer problems.

This is what I love about mindfulness training, even when you think you fail, you actually have the opportunity to turn conceived failures into great lessons and experiential wisdom.

*If you enjoy my blog, please send a vote my way. Click on the Circle of Mom's button in the top right corner of this page and scroll down to vote for Modernista Mama. Thank-you! You can vote once a day until contest closes.

Spider Whisperer

You know fall is right around the corner at my house when Ms. Spider moves in. Every fall we find a few black widow spiders in our home. Mistaya found this lovely girl above our piano yesterday. I believe in karma--If I don't hurt spiders, they won't hurt me. Thus, I have become a black widow whisperer--I relocate black widows from my house, friends homes--call me and I'll get rid of your uninvited spider guest. I reject the dull title of spider-relocater, for the more dangerous sounding: spider-whisperer. Black widows are especially dangerous to children and small pets. Their venom is fifteen times more toxic than that of a rattlesnake. Though, they are reclusive creatures and almost never bite humans unless surprised and frightened.

She was an especially difficult and feisty guest, she was not going without a fight. The black widow kept lowering herself on a string-web, avoiding me and my jar. Black widows are not the best web spinners--they don't like to move vertically--they like staying in one place. She was getting upset with me, her arms flailing. However, I am happy to report I relocated her to the forest and I did not get bitten. The pictures were difficult to take as she was so close to the ceiling that my camera wouldn't fit with the flash up. Enjoy viewing our lovely house guest (who now enjoys a life in the forest) :

Bare Foot Buddhism

My morning  footprints on the Northwest Coast, Oregon, USA

My feet. Monkey toes.

Another's footprints on the beach that morning.

A teeny crab Anemone found in the Salmon River--that's her little thumb.

Northwest Pacific coastal shore Plant

Northwest Pacific Coastal plant on the rocky shore. Such a beautiful plant with it's colours and shapes.

A still life I created with objects I'd just found in low tide. The rock made me think of my darling little girl at home. I thought Pippi's little fingers would fit perfectly in the rock. Whenever I am separated from my girls, it is often small things in nature that remind me of my darlings--knowing we would cherish the beauty together.

Another fascinating shore plant with interesting green berries at Westwind, Oregon.

One of the great gifts I received from the Buddhist Mindfulness retreat at Westwind, Oregon, was the freedom to walk barefoot for the entire stay: through sandy shores, pine needle paths, rocky paths and wooden floors. The natural beauty of the coast is surreal in its spectacularness and I was blessed to explore this region barefoot--connecting completely with the land and sea. Walking barefoot is the best thing for the brain and mind. All the nerves in the foot are stimulated by the changing surfaces, and temperatures, this stimulates the brain. It forces one to be present in the moment--aware of each and every step one takes, connecting fully with one's movement through space. The retreat was perfection for one's health: barefoot, healthy fresh foods, raw natural setting, many other humans to activate the social areas of our brains and meditation.
I've always been one to forgo the shoes whenever I can. As a child I'd slip off my shoes to run barefoot home from friends' houses, feeling I was so much faster barefoot. I've never liked slippers either, preferring my bare feet on floors. Perhaps this is why, to this day, my toes are very flexible--my sister used to call me monkey toes as a child because I can move my toes in many directions. It's an easy gift we can all give ourselves: walk barefoot to stimulate your brain and body--it feels great. My eldest daughter appears to have flat feet--the flattest I have seen. But a recent trip to a specialist pointed out the true nature of those long, thin, elegant feet of hers: they are super flexible. Her feet are not actually flat at all. In the air, while stepping, she has a lovely arch, on contact with the ground, her over-flexible foot completely compresses--flattens out. The specialist advised no treatment other than continuing to strengthen them with barefoot walking and ballet (she is taking point this year). With those super-rubbery feet of hers I am sure she'll be the first on point! So, my darling daughter and I often walk the rocky mountain trails near our home together-barefoot. The rocks are big and sharp. The hike is the ultimate foot strengthening test. Ideally though, we need to live on a long stretch of sandy beach (like the wonderful Westwind) so we can walk and run with the tide each morning.

Just Add Dharma

The following photographs depict an afternoon at Westwind, Oregon. We had a small amount of free time from our Buddhist retreat schedule so we spent it exploring caves and interesting tide pools along the shore.

 I will let my readers enjoy the bliss and ease of the life in the photos below.

*A little passage about a present personal struggle can be found after the photo series for any curious readers.

Tabitha--having spotted a hole in the rocks leading to secret tide pools.

Mistaya and friend.

Tabitha on her way to explore a magical path to the sea.

Miranda, Tabitha and Anemone explore tide pools.

Brilliantly coloured sea anemone.

Tabitha making her way through the cave to the ocean's edge where Miranda and Nem explore tide pools.

Me--the ocean is so cold at this particular spot on the Northwest Pacific Coast--just stepping in the water up to my knees for a minute caused excruciating pain. It's a very windy place on the coast and the current is from deep in the ocean. Thus, the water is much colder than that off the BC coast.

Nem, braving the water!

Nem and Miranda--hurrying to find their way back to the beach--we're late for the next retreat activity!

These photos depict a lifestyle much needed right now in my life. The first week back to school/lessons for my daughters is always exhausting. In the old days, parents didn't fret about providing each and every child with unlimited mental, spiritual and physical stimulus. Most of their kids were lost in the shuffle: clothed, fed, loved and at times ignored--families were big, life was hard.

Today we believe each and every child must have a parent's full attention to their every need. It's a balancing act. I am barely keeping on the beam with three children--I could not parent the way I do with even one more. I want no one to be left out in the shuffle of modern life. 

And then there is the constant struggle to get one of my children to eat a healthy diet. She is gluten intolerant, very thin and often gets sick. Her picky eating is a constant source of stress for me. 

Dare I cry the word HELP? I cry it, but in the end it involves me helping myself: trying, reworking, meditating, trying, reworking, meditating, never giving up trying to walk that balance beam.

My children's extra curricular week looks like this (and I know we don't do as much as many families!):

Mist: piano, 2 dance, school band.

Tabs: choir, soccer, piano and school band.

Pip:guitar, soccer and skating.

*As well, I plan to take them down hill skiing each Saturday when the season starts. 

**not to mention fitting in my own work/ exercise/ extra curricular schedule, and working around Peter's too.

And I like to have a family supper each night--this year we'll eat at about 7:30 to ensure we can all make it to the table. But since I am driving all over the city to lessons, I'll have to prepare our meal at about 2:30 each afternoon and put it in a slow cooker for the evening. 

This life style would work if I employed a cook/nanny/housekeeper. But I do not have one of those much needed persons. 

Modern Life? What's it good for? More Dharma please!

Singing Sands on Ephemeral Shores

The Westwind sand is so fine, it sings beneath one's feet with each step. The following photographs were taken the day we created sand drawings on the beach. I felt the need to choose the beach drawing activity over the other offered activities--as though something was calling me to the ocean's edge. It was an exhilarating experience. I carved through the sand against the Tide's yearning to erase the drawing before it's completion. A great work out for my upper body as I pressed the rake handle deep into the beach and pulled. Watching the tide erase the art on completion emphasized the impermanence of life.

I drew a sea serpent. I did not have a wide-angle lens thus the picture below does not do it justice. My niece Nem, created the octopus with a friend (I took all the pics with my own camera except this one--I used Duncan's camera and wide angle lens for the octopus). I barely had time to drag the ladder to each creation and take a photo before the tide ate away at each creation.

 During this time other members of my family chose different activities. Miranda went on a steep, cliff-edged hike (I was envious on her return but realized Providence had intervened as some of the hike was spent on their bellies creeping towards the cliff's edge and I would have frozen up in fear), Tabs and Mist made salt from the sea. Tabs will show me how when we go to Hawaii next--I can bring home Hawaiian sea salt! We have a small stash of Westwind salt. We had concerns crossing the border with our little bags of white powder, but all was well. When you tell the border guards you were attending a Buddhist meditation retreat--they are rather friendly. In fact, my border crossing this trip was the easiest and friendliest I've encountered to date.

The Bombastic Monastics

A noble silence walking meditation at a Buddhist Mindfulness Retreat in Westwind, Oregon. The walking meditation was followed by a picnic lunch on the beach each afternoon. The photographs below document our peaceful afternoon. I've added a picture of the Monastics from Deer Park Monastery--two sisters and two brothers attended our retreat as our thays (teachers).

Brother Man Tue.

Sisters swept away.

I call them the Bombastic Monastics. In this pic the Monastics were chanting and playing instruments for talent night. They were a lot of fun. The sisters were lovely women originally from Vietnam. I chatted with most of the Monastics (a little "la blah-blah" as Brother Phap Hai would say). The sisters are: Sister Hang Ngheim and Sister Dac Ngheim. The brothers are: Brother Man Tue from Vietnam, Brother Phap Hai from Australia-- all from Deer Park Monastery in California and ordained by Thich Nhat Hanh at Plum Village in Southern France.

A walking mediation followed by a noble silence picnic lunch on the beach.

Miranda and I practicing right speech once the noble silence was lifted. We had fun thinking up new lyrics to some of the retreat's songs. Our songs say basically the same thing but with less eloquent speech and a little more passion ;) 

Lunch on the beach with  the children...

Nem and Tabs making their way to the picnic spot.

The Dharma Kids Posse.

The posse of Dharma kids at the retreat. They were adorable--bonded instantly and spent the entire retreat together exploring.

The coast at Westwind.

On Our Way From Misery To Happiness

The photo essay below depicts our initial arrival at Westwind, Oregon, USA. I attended a Buddhist mindfulness retreat along with my two eldest daughters, sister and niece. The Buddhism is in Thich Nhat Hanh Zen tradition.
We drove down from Canada, spent one night in Portland and the next day arrived on the coast of Oregon. I didn't take any pictures of our night in Portland but Mist (below) my sister and I took the Max train down town for the evening and dined at Rock Bottom Brewery and Restaurant. It was a whirlwind, fun night in Portland. Mist got to try Rock Bottom's homemade rootbeer. It was surreal for me as I'd dined at that exact restaurant in Portland only 8 months earlier. The 14 hour road trip took us through the very beautiful Washington and Oregon States. We arrived, slightly weary but excited travelers, ready to leave our miseries behind...

Mist on the Salmon River, Oregon-- awaiting the ferry crossing.

Tabs--thrilled to have arrived after a 14 hour road trip.

Biologists at play on the Salmon River shore.

Crossing the Salmon River to Westwind.

My niece and I on board the ferry.

Safely on shore. The sand is crunchy on top and soft underneath.

We're on our way---following Duncan's 85 year old mom Fern to the camp site. She is an  inspirational woman full of eloquence, vitality and warmth.

Mistaya, ready to explore the biosphere.

Caught in a sandstorm of emotion (sorry ABBA-it just seemed appropriate).

Duncan Berry, one of the retreat's hosts, explaining the history of the land.

We have arrived in happiness: Westwind--the dining halls.

The steep narrow path to our cabin was the only escape route for the camp.

Toilet on cliff's edge--unbelievable ocean view when sitting in front of this small building, quite challenging finding one's way in the dark.

Our mountain-top sanctuary: Tyee Cabin